TROPHYBOYS [aileen burns]

I admit it.

I'm so tired, it's late and I have to be up early to take my friend to the airport. After work tonight, KT and I drove downtown to see some friends who were at a bowling alley / bar for a day off Warped Tour charity bowling event. We got there pretty late considering it started at 5pm and we didn't get there til 9:30. Turns out so many of my friends were there, it was amazing seeing so many people I miss all the time.... my scumbag loves in Protest The Hero! Duncan, Lisp, and some of the Say Anything dudes, Erica from Keep-A-Breast, my old Bus 13 girls - Kristy, Shelley, and AJ, Dylan, some of TAI and crew, Chels, Monaca! and more. Had a few drinks, took a shot with Lisp and Tony Marino. Then KT and I took Duncan to In N Out and tried to convince him to move to San Diego. He and Jake really want to, it's only a matter of time I hope. Would be nice to add more friends to our group out here and Duncan is one of the best dudes I know.

Seeing so many friends and a lot of faces I recognize from my past years on the tour made me really sad. Hearing my friends say they miss me and that tour would be so much better if I were around is comforting, but I actually got kind of teary eyed at one point. It will get easier when I leave for tour and have my hands full dealing with Plain White T's. But I'm also excited for my day off in Chicago which I do plan to spend sweating my ass off at Warped Tour. If you want to find me, I'll probably spend a lot of the day hanging out in the Say Anything and Angels & Airwaves merch tents haha.

Speaking of tour, I just found out today that we (PWTs) are confirmed for what will hopefully be a pretty big tour this fall in Oct/Nov. A support tour, not headliner, but that will come in time once the new album is released. Got my fingers crossed

This is where I stand right now:



Described perfectly by the artistry of Kurt Halsey.

Side note: I purchased a Pacifica candle in Indian Chai scent last weekend at a little vintage shop in Oceanside and it's smelling amazing right now.

TO TOUR OR NOT TO TOUR (in music, specifically)?

TO TOUR:
- You have been hired by an artist, band, record label, management, production crew, or sponsor company (I would maybe include traveling catering company in this)
- You have a job which you do on every show day, and usually work on days off to prepare you for other show days
- You are paid by salary, flat rate, commission for the work you do, often times with an additional per diem paid in cash
- Your job comes before your social life because you are a professional and there on tour to do a job first and foremost

NOT TO TOUR:
- You follow a band in your car for X number of days and call it "going on tour"
- You somehow manage to finagle your way onto riding on a tour bus for X number of days, although you have no job to do and are realistically just taking up space on said bus where other working people make their home away from home
- You spend more time showering, dressing up, styling your hair, and applying makeup than you do accomplishing work that needs to be done to make the tour (or merely your job on the tour) function smoothly - this isn't touring, this is tricking someone into paying you to slack off in favor of making your social life more entertaining and your social circle more buzz(net)worthy


Okay just wanted to clarify.






Stickam.com/trophyboys - add me, I need reasons to use this thing.

Ok so after some deliberation, I made a Stickam profile late last night. As though I need any other internet profiles. The thing is, I have no clue how this stupid thing works! If you can explain this craziness to me or want to be Stickam friends, please feel free to add me. Maybe I'll start doing Stickam chats from tour?

http://www.stickam.com/trophyboys

In exactly three weeks I fly out to start tour! I can't believe three months have already gone by since we got home from Australia and I moved to California. Wow. I'm packing as much as I can into my last three weeks before tour and I'm excited about it! Here's what's coming up:

June 11 - The Matches @ Soma
The Matches have been dear friends of mine since 2004 and I'm excited to have them in town! It's like getting to see the cousins who live upstate, or something. Extended family. They're good people, I'm lucky to have them as friends. And when The Matches are in town, it usually means I get to reunite with my sister in merch, Monaca. It's hard to find decent girls in this business, and Monaca is one of the best. Some of you may have met her on the AP Tour this spring, she was one of the two lovely ladies behind the merch table, three if you include my friend Erica with Keep-A-Breast! :)

June 14 - Angels and Airwaves Start The Machine movie premiere
I get to bring a bunch of my friends to the friends/family screening of this! My "yomies" Joey, Robbie, and Cove, Kenny and Leigh from Invisible Children are coming up from downtown, and Zack and Nick are coming down from Huntington Beach with their friend. Should be a fun time. Hopefully a lot of kids come to the public showings, if you live in the San Diego / North County area you should come!! I've already watched the movie probably 20 times while working at the store so I have at least half of it memorized by now haha.



June 17 - Grand Funk Railroad @ Del Mar Fairgrounds
My cousin Bruce is an ex-member of KISS and now plays lead guitar in Grand Funk Railroad. I've always wanted to see him play live (when I was little my parents used to tell me that my cousin played in a band that wore make-up haha) and I plan on totally geeking out. Bruce is in his 40s but he and his older brother are the only family I have who are in the same business as me, and Bruce has always been one of my biggest supporters.

June 18 - The Almost, Emery, Envy On The Coast, Army Of Me @ The Glasshouse
My roommate and I are probably going to make the drive up to Pomona for this show because the tour will be in San Diego the night of Pomona Warped Tour... Which means I'm probably going to make the Carlsbad to Pomona drive (1.5 hours) two, maybe three times that week. I missed Army Of Me when they were in town on The Used tour though because I was home with a terrible cold. KT (my roommate) and I have known those guys since January 2004, they're seriously underrated and finally picking up some good tours so I'm excited for them. I haven't seen the Emery guys in a while too, since they played in Hawaii last year. They're old tourmates with the T's from Nintendo Fusion Tour in 2006. I went into that tour having never really cared much for their music, but after seeing them live I was completely converted. Such a great live band. I only watch The Almost to see the Leprechaun Dance.


I made that. Too much time.

June 19 or 20 - Pomona Warped Tour
I'm a little bummed that I'm not doing the tour again, but it would've been my fourth summer in a row and I really needed a break. A lot of my friends are back on the tour this summer though and the convenient thing about events like Warped Tour or Bamboozle is that a lot of my friends are forced to be in one place on the same day. And this time I'm not working!

June 25 - Cartel in-store @ Loserkids / Cartel @ Del Mar Fairgrounds
I was talking to my friend Baby Chuck who sells merch for Cartel while I was at work at Loserkids yesterday. I knew they were going to be in town for the Del Mar Fair and suggested they come into the store to do an acoustic performance that afternoon. We've done a good number of acoustic in-stores in the past with bands like Angels and Airwaves, The Matches, Motion City Soundtrack, Meg & Dia, The Color Fred, Mae, Eisley, I Am The Avalanche, etc. I figured I'd throw the idea out there and apparently Cartel and their management were really into the idea. Brendan, my boss and the store's manager, will be out of town that week so he's coordinating details now but I have to run the in-store haha. Cartel are good friends though so I'm excited that we're making this happen and I hope a lot of kids come out for it. If you live in the San Diego area, PLEASE COME!

July 2 - Fly to Chicago to start tour!

For the days in-between I'll be splitting time between working at Loserkids (loserkids.com), hanging out at the beach (apparently it's 90 degrees and hotter everywhere else in America... in North County San Diego the average weather has been 65-75 degrees and sunny, booyah), and learning Garageband with my brand new M-Audio Oxygen 49 midi keyboard. Yep, I went ahead and got myself one! I've been spending a lot of time teaching myself how to play Coldplay and Saves The Day songs to get back into the hang of playing a keyboard (I took piano lessons when I was 7 years old, then played cello from age 8-18). I'm very excited about this new venture, I just wish it were small enough for me to take on tour! Oh well.



Do you guys have any big plans for the summer? What shows and concerts do you have tickets for? Are school and exams done yet?

Lately I've been feeling more than anything like I need a fresh start.

I mean, I guess that's why I moved to California. But I brought a lot of baggage with me and I already had stuff in storage here. Ha I just ruined that metaphor. I miss New York so much (seeing the Sex And The City movie didn't help) but I need to give California at least a year to live up to my expectations. I do have some amazing friends here, there's no denying that. And I left some amazing people on the East Coast that I'm always going to love. I've just gotta get myself through the next three weeks until I leave for tour and get back to regular life. Haha, "regular life" is such an abnormal concept in my world.

Let's talk about trust for a second. I have major trust issues. And not in the normal sense of having a difficult time trusting people for the shit I've been through in the past. I actually trust people with surprising ease, considering my history with family, relationships, friends, etc. I always give people the benefit of the doubt before they have a chance to prove that they're worthy of my trust. It's a serious issue, and no matter how many times I get burned I let it slide by. I can't distrust people. Or maybe I can, but I just let it boil inside my stomach until it gives me an anxiety attack. I harbor jealousy inside my ribcage so as not to appear jealous (read: crazy) on the outside. And it makes my brain crazy instead. I work so hard to maintain my sanity. I wish I could find a way to release it somehow.

I finally got my hands on MGMT's Oracular Spectacular record. What a great album name. It isn't what I normally listen to, but I'm into it. I'm looking to invest in an M-Audio keyboard to play around with. I miss my cello and acoustic guitar, they're both in Hawaii at my parents' house collecting dust. I want to be creative. It's been a long time. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a permanent state of creator's block. I just want to make something other people can appreciate. I want a fisheye lens for my Canon. I want art to flow from my fingertips.

Luis (Mendoza) and I are working on bringing the Internet a new blog site with some of our friends (tba). We'll be posting our words and photos from tour, maybe some thoughts on current music trends, things like that. Luis and I have been friends since 2005 when we met on Warped Tour and I'm excited about this joint venture.

I'm probably bored, feel free to ask any questions you've been curious to ask me, if there are any at all, and I'll do my best to answer them. Anonymously too if you feel more comfortable that way.

The Graduate - http://myspace.com/thegraduate

Paper Rival - http://myspace.com/paperrival (used to be Keating)

Edison Glass - http://myspace.com/edisonglass


All three bands are currently on The Bang Tour supporting Nightmare Of You and I highly recommend all three. There are still two weeks left of their tour so if it's coming to your city you should really try to make it out. If anything, those bands are even better live than they are recorded both vocally and instrumentally.

Let me know what you guys think and if there are any bands out there I should check out.

THIS BAND HAS A MINI DE'MAR!


http://myspace.com/singitloud


Plain White T's

I'm freaking out. I think we need to take them on tour. I haven't even heard their EP yet but Josh Cain (Motion City Soundtrack) produced it so it has to be at least half decent haha. Either way, they have a MINI DE'MAR!!!!

This is an open invitation from me to Sing It Loud to come on tour with Plain White T's. Granted, I'm just the merch girl so they'll have to have their people contact our people and sort out the details, but still.... let's make it happen.

And I apologize in advance if they do end up getting a tour with PWTs and I have trouble learning that kid's name because I call him Mini De'Mar for the entirety of the tour. I'm already bad with names as it is, but the similarities might just be too much for my brain to handle.

So amazing.

MERCHWAR.COM

This blog was brought to my attention last night. So far no one has really figured out who is behind it, although there's speculation. For those of you who nerd out about the industry, it might be an interesting blog to keep track of. Merch World is a much more complex business than a lot of people think, and it's becoming even more complicated with all the record companies trying to get involved.

As the merchandise manager for a band, it's my responsibility to make sure we never run out of product to sell at our shows. Sometimes it happens, but we've rarely gone more than a day or two without a full stock of sizes. On a daily basis I send in sales reports which includes an up to date inventory. Whether or not the merch company reads these reports is another matter all together, but you do what you can on your end and trust that the people you work with do the same.

Pete Wentz mentioned Merch War in his blog as well, and I want to do the same poll: what band merch do you like the best? I actually read every response left on Pete's blog because it's important for me to know what the consumer likes, just like in any other business. So spill the beans, tell me what kind of merch or whose merch you liked! Do you prefer American Apparel printed shirts over basic tees? Do you have a favorite hoodie brand? Would you rather get a girls fitted tee over a regular t-shirt?

Oh, and what was up with those Paramore leggings from Warped Tour last summer? Does anyone actually own and wear those???


EDIT:
Here's another question, HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH FOR MERCH?
What do you consider the highest reasonable price for a tshirt, hoodie, tote bag, etc?

My dog Skippy died in his sleep last week. He was a pretty old guy, maybe 15 years old. My parents surprised me with him one Christmas when I was little and I was convinced for years that he was a gift from Santa. A year ago our other dog Kona passed away, she was 13. With no dogs and all but one cat now gone, our house is pretty quiet. Noel is the last one left, the matriarch of all our previous cats. I brought her home from the Humane Society in 1990 when she was just a tiny kitten and held her in my zip up jacket all the way home.

After Kona died, I couldn't stand to be in the house by myself. It was too still and quiet without her doggie toenails tapping on the floor where she walked. I can't even imagine what it will be like the next time I go home, without Skippy and Kai (my favorite cat, who died on Valentine's Day this year). My parents have decided that we'll get two dogs this year. I think I'm going to name them Benson and Stabler. I'm actually really stoked on that idea.

I watched Law & Order today from 4-11pm on three different networks. Making great use of my day off.


Currently listening to:
Carolina Liar - Coming To Terms
Paper Rival - Dialog
Lights - EP

I don't like what's been leaked of the new Weezer.

Sorry about that! Now that my high-speed internet is installed, I have quit stealing shoddy wireless from the neighbors and can post more frequently! Unfortunately, there hasn't been a whole lot to post. Let's see. Last weekend I worked at the Bamboozle Festival in New Jersey for the non-profit I'm closely involved in, Shirts For A Cure. We had a busy and successful weekend so thanks to everyone who came by and picked up a shirt! Jimmy Eat World and Saves The Day were (as expected) the highlights of my weekend. Those two bands can never disappoint me.

Plain White T's are in England right now for the Give It A Name Festival. Unfortunately, I'm sitting at home in California. We WILL have merchandise for sale, but I won't be there selling it. I'm bummed about missing that trip, but on the other hand I came down with an awful sinus infection this week and probably wouldn't have recovered quickly if I had been traveling these last few days.

Speaking of the PWTs, you may have noticed a bunch of new tour dates on the right hand of my Buzznet. Those are all confirmed and we might be adding a few more in the States before July rolls around.

Since I have another two months at home before we leave again for tour, I've started working part-time at the Loserkids retail store in San Marcos, CA. It's been five years since I've done actual retail work (I had a summer job at Hot Topic when I was 19!), so I'm getting used to it all over again. The store is great though, I work with a very small handful of great people, we listen to good music and watch skateboarding DVDs and host acoustic in-store performances with our favorite bands. Last month we had performances by Meg & Dia, The Color Fred, Jackson United, Mae, and Motion City Soundtrack. On May 16 we'll have one of my favorite bands, Eisley, in the store (so so so so excited).

Here's what I've been listening to lately:

Cinematic Sunrise - A Coloring Storybook And Long Playing Record EP
Feeder - Silent Cry (anyone remember when Rooney/Feeder did that co-headlining tour?)
International Superheroes of Hardcore - Takin' It Ova'
Santogold - Santogold
Say Anything - In Defense Of The Genre
We Shot The Moon - Fear And Love

I've also been digging the two new Cute Is What We Aim For tunes that are posted on their myspace. I ran into Shaant and Jeff at Bamboozle, it was a nice surprise seeing their faces after all these months post- our FOB tour together.

Speaking of new bands, I start to feel older and older with all these up and coming pop punk bands that are finding a nice cushioned spot on MTV's current rotation.... to name a few, Metro Station, We The Kings, The Cab, Secondhand Serenade (I would never have known who this band was if not for being forced to listen to them at both Bamboozles, hello Dashboard Confessional ripoff?), the list goes on and on. I saw the Metro Station video for their single "Shake It" today and I don't even know where to start! Boys, you don't need a combover if you've got a full head of hair! Do you realize that band doesn't have a bass player?! Haha. I guess The Cab is trying to do something different, but I already went through my years of loving *NSYNC and I was perfectly happy watching them dance instead of attempt to play instruments. As for We The Kings, I'm sure they're nice kids, but I was watching their Hitlist on MTV today and halfway through it turned into hip hop hour. In five songs, two of them were Snoop Dogg, and I'm pretty sure that's against the rules.

Okay, rant over. I'm just old and grumpy! If you've got any tunes to recommend to me, please do!


The only photos I took at Bamboozle!


Myself and Mendoza!


Keller and I (Metro Station's A&R manager)

Here I come! This will be my third year in a row working the New Jersey festival. At the 2006 Bamboozle I got so sick that I lost my voice for two weeks and my mom literally nursed me back to life so I could walk at my college graduation the following Monday haha.

I'll be with Shirts For A Cure again, so please! If you're going to be at the festival, stop by and say hello! Check out our collection of tshirts, maybe buy one or three, or at least pick up a catalog so you can read about the organization and tell your friends about it.

I'll be working so I won't have much time to hang which is always slightly disappointing. But I'm very excited to see Jimmy Eat World and Saves The Day again, I can never get sick of seeing either play live. Also not so secretly excited about Snoop Dogg. Sunday I'm going to make sure to watch The Receiving End Of Sirens play one of their last performances as a band.

If you're going to be there that weekend, try to catch Lydia on Saturday and As Tall As Lions on Sunday. Those are my recommendations.

Looking forward to seeing loads of familiar faces!

Side note, I totally miss when the festival used to be held at Asbury Park under the name Skate & Surf. Those were some good memories.

Surprise hangs are the best!

I got a text Sunday morning from my long lost Warped Tour 06 friend, Duncan. Last time I saw him was when our tours crossed paths in fall 06 when he was out with Hellogoodbye and I was on Nintendo Tour. Since HGB has been writing and recording, he's out drum teching for Say Anything. I've been known to not really like Say Anything's music, but KT and I made last minute plans to drive downtown to see Duncan at House Of Blues and then probably peace out during Say Anything's set. We ended up leaving to get dinner during the set, coming back at the end of the show, and hanging out until 3am. How does that even happen!?

More surprises, my friend Lisp is doing Say Anything's merch and I haven't seen him since he was merching for Bayside on Warped last summer. My other friend Canetti is tour managing Manchester Orchestra again since his regular job with Brand New is on hiatus while they take x-number of years to write a new album hah.

The dudes from Say Anything that I met were very nice and my world just got that much smaller with all our mutual friends. I met a guy last night who was friends with Jake from Say Anything, and this guy actually grew up with Derrick Sherman and used to play little league with him on Long Island. So nuts. Coby and Duncan were drunk and made KT play fuck/marry/kill, and Jake told me about five times that he has really bad "yellow fever." They're going to Hawaii in a couple days, it's like yellow fever paradise over there. He's done for.

Weird and totally fun night.

Jake and his brother's side project, XO, is really good (http://www.myspace.com/xotheband). Everyone should go check them out, they have a new ep that they'll be releasing in limited run this summer and every song on it sounds epic. If you're a fan of Jimmy Eat World's Clarity, Mew, Death Cab For Cutie, Dashboard Confessional, etc I think you'll really dig XO.

http://aileen.muxtape.com

If anyone else has made a Muxtape, leave your link in the comments!

Everyone must go check out Cary Brothers and his album "Who You Are" right now!!

http://www.myspace.com/carybrothers

It's such a wonderful collection of music, I can't not recommend it to everyone I know. GO!

http://www.myspace.com/carybrothers
http://www.myspace.com/carybrothers
http://www.myspace.com/carybrothers
http://www.myspace.com/carybrothers
http://www.myspace.com/carybrothers

(I pretty much copy/pasted what I wrote in my Blogspot for this because I am THAT exhausted.)


On stage watching Hayley and Jordan sing "It Ain't Me Babe" during New Found Glory's set on Saturday.


SO. TIRED.

Bamboozle wore me out. I got to see so many people I haven't seen in a very long time though, which helped relieve the exhaustion of the weekend.

Bands I watched by choice:
- New Found Glory
- Jimmy Eat World
- Hawthorne Heights
- Saves The Day

Bands I watched against my choice:
- Everything else on the two main stages, both days

Bands I missed but would've watched if I weren't working / if their stages weren't so damn far away:
- Dear And The Headlights
- Take The Crown
- Set Your Goals
- Lydia
- Protest The Hero


The best surprise hangs of the weekend go to:

- My friend Andrew Peterson (aka "Dos") who I haven't seen since we did merch together on the Panic! At The Disco tour in November '06. He works for Paramore's merch company now.

- Andy Stensrud (ex-merch guy for Something Corporate, now works for the merch company that handles Fall Out Boy, Panic At The Disco, etc) and Chris Gaylor (drummer, All-American Rejects) who I didn't even recognize at first thanks to his new hippie beard, hippie dreads, and hippie beanie, not to mention the fact that he was wearing a shirt

- Will and Brad (guitar and tour manager, respectively) of Amber Pacific (we watched Saves The Day together, SO GOOD)

- My big brother and close friend Manny Carrero (bass, Saves The Day/Glassjaw), Chris Conley (okay we didn't really "hang" but the fact that he recognizes me, chats with me, and knows my name still really freaks me out and makes me internally teenie)

- The Nightbeast (aka Nick Testa, guitar tech extraordinaire, catch him on tour right now with Metro Station)

- Team Weed aka Mitch George and Chris V (previously TM/merch duo on Days Away's crew, previously TM/merch duo on Cute Is What We Aim For's crew, currently TM/merch duo on Metro Station's crew)

- Anthony Amor (merch dude, New Found Glory and Set Your Goals) and Jordan Brown (vocals, Set Your Goals)

- My Canadian friends in Protest The Hero

- My friends in Hawthorne Heights

To be honest, I wore my hood up and sunglasses during their whole set because I couldn't stop crying. Manny came over to my tent after Hawthorne's set and as soon as he hugged me I broke down again. I can't believe it's already been more than four months since Casey passed away. I've gone longer than four months without seeing him because of our tour schedules, but it's a battle to remember that he's gone when I want to call him and tell him about funny things that happen, or things that remind me of him, or to get his advice on something. He was seriously the best person. I'm really glad I got to see the other guys in his band and hug them this weekend and hug his best friend Nick and see Hawthorne Heights play even though it was so hard to get through. So many people wore their TWLOHA Casey shirts on Sunday. I don't think Casey really knew how many peoples lives he was touching while he was alive.

Anyway. I'm glad I got to see so many of my friends this weekend but I'm glad the weekend is over. There's a chance Shirts For A Cure might do the Thrice/Circa Survive/Pelican tour which starts here in San Diego in two weeks. If it happens, my boss from SFAC will call me and I'll probably end up doing that tour for him. I'll keep everyone posted.


** Shout outs to that girl who took a SFAC catalog from me in line and said she knew me from Buzznet!!

**Another shout out to my awesome friends Vinny Vegas and Pickel from Glamour Kills for hooking me up with a new GK wardrobe! And my friend Amanda for making amazing jewelry (myspace.com/rightinthefamilyjewels) and bringing me some necklaces this weekend :)

I'll be at Bamboozle Left this weekend in Irvine, CA working for Shirts For A Cure (the non-profit I worked for on Warped Tour '07). Sounds weird, but I'm really looking forward to a weekend of selling t-shirts... it's been a while hahaha.

I'll be busy working both days, but I'm definitely taking breaks to go see Jimmy Eat World on Saturday and my friends Hawthorne Heights on Sunday. According to the venue map, the vendor tents will be set up across from the two main stages, so hopefully I'll be able to see New Found Glory, Hot Water Music, and Saves The Day from our tent as well. It's going to be so strange and uncomfortable seeing Hawthorne without Casey, but I knew the day was going to come where I'd have to get through it one way or another. It's going to be good seeing the rest of those guys though, I haven't seen them since the funeral.

The nice thing about festivals like Bamboozle is that it's a chance for me to run into a whole bunch of friends that I don't normally get to see on a regular basis. It's also chaotic trying to see as many familiar faces as you can.

Are you going to Bamboozle Left? If so, COME SAY HI! Shirts For A Cure is a great non-profit that supports women with breast cancer who cannot afford cancer treatment. You can learn more by visiting syrentha.org and shirtsforacure.com.

I came across the work of Japanese pop artist Chiho Aoshima a couple years ago and fell in love with her artistry and use of color. I want to buy her prints to decorate my apartment SO BADLY but they're incredibly expensive (typically $1000-3000). So I'm settling for sharing them here instead. If I had the balls, I'd do a sleeve of her work.


Japanese Apricot


Japanese Apricot 2


Piercing A Heart


City Glow


Hot Spring


Sky


Buildinghead Palm Trees


Yuyake-Chan Miss Sunset

Note: this was posted as a myspace bulletin by a friend of mine. I don't know who wrote it, but all of it hit really close to home for me and I'm sure many of you girls will feel the same after reading it.

-----

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more. This is for the girls who don’t give it up on the first date, who don’t want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they’ve heard a thousand times.

This is for the girls who understand that they aren’t perfect and that the guys they’re interested in aren’t either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he’ll have understood.

This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats, who care more than they should for guys who don’t deserve their attention.

This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds."

This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they’d rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting friend.

This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt.

This is for the girls who have been told that they’re too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments but never believed any thing she was told.

This one’s for the girls who you can take home to mom, but never has because it’s easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with.

This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart , only to discover that he’s just not ready, he’s just not over her, he’s just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it’s easier to believe that it’s not that they don’t want you, it’s that they don’t want anyone.

This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you’ve returned home alone, for the nights when you’ve seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he’s with to be a random hookup.

This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn’t that he didn’t want a relationship: it was that he didn’t want you.

This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep.

This is for the hugs you’ve received from your friends, for the nights they’ve reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy;

This is for the stupidity of the nights we’ve believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we’d have ever wanted.

This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don’t think that they deserve more, because they’ve been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don’t understand. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful: that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging.Although she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time. Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere.

So don’t say you’re on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. You only see the exterior, you only see the bitchy girl who welcomes those advances. You don’t want the nice girl.. so don’t say you’re looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we’re willing to extend - - but in return, we’re looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express.

Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they’re running they’re chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towel, hoping against hope that maybe you’ll realize that they’re the ones that you want at the end.

I consider myself a full-time employee of the band Plain White T's. We've had an extremely busy two year long record cycle which has kept me on the road almost consistently since summer 2006. But with the band undergoing the process of writing and recording their next album, I found myself with no tour plans between March 4 and June 29. That's a long time to not be making an income.

Even before we came home from tour earlier this month, I had begun sending my resume out to other bands, management, and record labels trying to get a feel for who was hiring for upcoming spring tours. Saves The Day hired a merch person before my resume could fully be taken into consideration, and Armor For Sleep hired someone who asked for lower salary than me. Switchfoot's management received my resume in late February and I never got a response at all. And the kicker -- two bands who were offering a much higher salary than I make with Plain White T's.... but neither of which will consider me for the merch position because I am a GIRL and the wives of the band don't want a GIRL on their husband's crew.

If I think about the situation too much my head starts to feel like it's going to explode.

Sexism is not allowed in the hiring of any employee in any other business in this country. Only in the touring business can a wife be such an influence on how her husband's business is run. Granted, there aren't very many business where the employers and employees live together. But it just blows my mind that one woman can sabotage the career of another woman strictly on mistrust and the unwarranted feeling of threat.

I am NOT on tour for meaningless hookups, I am NOT on tour to be a home wrecker.

I AM on tour to make a living, build my resume, learn more about touring, and pay my rent. I take my job very seriously and I am a professional. I have legitimate references who back me up as a person and a hard worker.

And people have the nerve to tell me, well it doesn't help that you're pretty, petite, what have you. 99% of my days on tour, I DON'T feel pretty I just feel like one of the guys. I'd rather feel like one of the guys. There's nothing I can do about my physical size, shape, or the fact that I have woman parts. I don't get dolled up on tour because I know I can't lift merch boxes in a dress. I don't wear skirts on tour because I need back pockets to hold things like the cash I make your band by selling your t-shirts.

It's absolutely completely ridiculous that I can't get a job based on the fact that I'm a girl and a band member's wife doesn't want me or any other female living with and working for her husband.

What she's probably not taking into consideration is that when I get back to the bus from a long day of working, all I want is to get into some sweatpants and go to bed (alone). Meanwhile, the techs and sound guys are probably in the front lounge drinking beer and inviting girls on the bus.


So there you have it. The thing standing between me and potentially making $1000+ salary per week is.... a wife.